i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
