so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize