She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
