All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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