using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
