NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
