We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Randomize
