i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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