The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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