No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize
