That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
