i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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