it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
