According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
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