I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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