Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
