Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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