there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
