Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize
