Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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