i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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