I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
only you would photoshop your dick
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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