ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
