You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
