there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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