I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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