thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize