well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize