What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
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