Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
