Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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