Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
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