I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
