I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
