And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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