i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
