This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
