a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
The air was thick with penises
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize