Non-Jews are for practice
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
