I hate your face
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
