You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize