You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize