I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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