Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
