Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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