I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
