it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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