I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize