Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
dude i'm inner monologue high
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Randomize
