I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
