If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize