That's intense
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Randomize
