It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
