But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
my being single is dangerous.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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