There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
