Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you will always have a special place in my vag
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
