there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
