Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
