No awkward lesbian experiences without me
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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