well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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