Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Michael Bay diarrhea
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
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