How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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