It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
