I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
