yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
whose parrot is this?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
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