Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
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