you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
