but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize
