And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I wish you could order shots online.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Randomize
