Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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