Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
