is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
Randomize
