you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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